We had to leave a dinner party because my girlfriend ate so damn much her clothes were cutting off her circulation and could no longer breathe. I love that now itās acceptable by most people she knows that sheās just comically fat and gets herself into these situations. Well, accepted to her face, I know damn well sheās the talk of the table once I waddle her out of there. Thereās few things that make me as stiff as my overfed gf leaning over into my ear, red as a tomato and sweating, and telling me, āGotta leave. Too fat.ā Apologizing to everyone as we slowly walk away that we canāt be regular people and stay because my girlfriend ate so many pounds of pulled pork that her stomach grew over her jeans and she canāt even get to the button. Itās a lot of effort getting her out these days, but moments like that are worth it šš¼
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